What Meaningful Parent-Teacher Conferences Can Be

When I began writing a book about parent-teacher conferences, I wasn’t just thinking about it as an early childhood teacher. I was thinking as a mother; in particular, a mother of a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

For decades, I have sat on both sides of the conference table. I have been the parent hoping that the teacher will truly see my child, and I have been the educator preparing to embrace every family’s story.

Both of these roles have shaped my professional outlook, and it is from these dual perspectives that Partnering for Success: Effective Strategies for Parent-Teacher Conferences was created.

This is my son, Matthias, the day of our very first parent-teacher conference. As an educator myself, I was excited to partner with the teacher to share ideas about how to support my young child with disabilities. My enthusiasm quickly turned to frustration when I discovered that the teacher did not intend to hear my insights. Instead, she saw this conference as a time to list my child’s faults and to outline what I should do at home to “fix his problems.” It was clear through her words and actions that she saw me as an afterthought in his education planning team.

In my early years as a professor in higher education, I learned that my experience at that first parent-teacher conference was not an anomaly. Over the course of my teaching career, I have had the honor of working with countless families. Some who were raising children with disabilities, others who were navigating school systems as immigrants, single parents, grandparents, or foster caregivers. From these interactions, one thing was clear: my conference experience was not unique.

Even now, whenever colleagues and acquaintances discover my profession, they insist on sharing their own stories about disappointment and confusion with school conferences. Further, these conversations always end by assigning me an important responsibility – “Please help new teachers remember the focus of the conversation is not the family car or house, but instead– a child, who is the keeper of all their parents’ hopes and dreams.”

Most families hold a deep knowledge about their children. They have an awareness of their student that is far more complex than the numbers captured on a standardized test. Nonetheless, many families struggle with sharing that knowledge in ways that generate and sustain real collaboration or respect in the school setting. Families must learn to advocate, to listen, and to communicate in a system that often feels rushed and rigid to outsiders. What these families desire is not more data, but instead a connection with teachers who hold genuine care and concern for their children.

Training pre-service educators in higher education, I want my teacher candidates to recognize the power that they hold in building productive relationships with families through empathy and responsiveness. Yet, I fully recognize that teachers can feel overwhelmed by family meetings, too. Sitting at opposite ends of a table with a disgruntled parent can feel scary, and sharing critical updates with families is not always easy or pleasant.

Nonetheless, productive family-teacher conferencing is essential to student success, and both teachers and families are critical elements to positive student outcomes. This book was written to honor both the teacher and family perspectives. Its purpose is to equip teachers with the tools they need to feel confident and prepared, while fostering positive relationships that ensure that families feel seen, heard, and valued in the school community.

Conferences should also empower families to become strong advocates and to model self-advocacy for their children. Family-teacher partnerships are not one-size-fits-all. Teachers must be committed to the ongoing work of identifying and examining family-specific best practices for engagement. This text offers practical approaches for building meaningful connections that are grounded in both theory and lived experience. Ideally, these strategies will honor the invisible labor of both teachers and parents who are wholly vested in student growth.

Too many families have told me they leave conferences feeling ignored, overwhelmed, or perhaps even worse—unwelcome. Sometimes the source of these hurt feelings is a language barrier. Other times, it is a cultural misunderstanding. And far too frequently, it is the endless fatigue of being misunderstood over and over again.

I have also been privileged enough to witness what happens when conferences are successful. I have participated in meetings where educators leaned in and listened, parents problem solved collaboratively, and both sides established trust through empathy and sincerity. In those moments, students have all the tools to flourish in and outside of the classroom.

I think of this book as an invitation to slow down, reflect, and rethink how we can come together better to support children. I also envision it as a reminder to educators that families are not merely clients or spectators, but co-creators in a child’s pathways to learning. Conferences are powerful opportunities to build connections, understanding, and true partnership between teachers and families. If we allow them, these spaces can help us to see children genuinely, to celebrate their strengths, and to work collaboratively to help them meet goals and to discover joy in learning.

For all these reasons, this book is more than just a collection of strategies and suggestions; it’s a work filled with heart. It reflects a deep commitment to reimagining family engagement with courage and compassion. Please join me on this journey to learn with and from families.