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Parent-teacher conferences are one of the most important opportunities for educators to connect with families. Yet, as Tricia Shelton reminds us in Partnering for Success: Strategies for Effective Parent-Teacher Conferences, families may feel uneasy about the whole process when expectations for communication are unclear or when past experiences have made them wary of school settings (p. 1). For this reason, the most successful conferences don’t begin at the conference table—they begin on the foundation of trust long before the meeting takes place.
Why Trust Must Come First
Families’ first impressions of teachers can shape their attitudes for the entire school year. Shelton notes that the conference setting is the first encounter that many families have with their child’s school environment. (p. 6). When that meeting features open communication, perspective-sharing, and genuine responsiveness, it can go a long way toward building trust between teachers and families (p. 6).
Trust is not just a “nice to have;” it’s the foundation that enables families to share honest insight about their child’s strengths, needs, and home life. Without it, even well-intentioned conferences can become tense or superficial. As Shelton explains, “When families trust teachers, they are more likely to share insight that deepens the teacher’s awareness of the child and the family. Such child-specific information can affect academic progress, student behavior, and social development.” (p. 7).
Trust also communicates value. Families who experience productive communication with teachers come to see themselves as significant contributors to their children’s education, which boosts their confidence and encourages their active participation in goal-setting and problem-solving (p. 7). Strong relationships built on trust empower families to be full partners in their child’s learning journey.
Trust Comes Before the Meeting
According to Shelton, the most effective conferences are an extension of an ongoing, relationship-driven classroom culture. “School conferencing provides an opportunity for families and teachers to become better acquainted with each other,” she writes. “Conferences centered on relationship building foster a foundation for trusting collaborative partnerships.” (p. 11). That means the real work begins well before you send the official conference invitation.
Building a foundation of trust requires consistent, intentional communication. Teachers should connect with families before and after the conference, establishing patterns of open and honest communication not only at conference meetings but also throughout the school year (p. 34). This ongoing contact—through newsletters, daily updates, family events, or informal conversations—will ensure that families view communication from the teacher in a positive light.
6 Ways to Build Trust Throughout the Year
Shelton offers a wealth of practical strategies educators can use to create authentic relationships long before conference time:
- Establish a welcoming environment.
Families should feel that their child’s teacher values their presence and their perspectives. Shelton advises teachers to consider how the physical, psychological, and social-emotional environment of their classroom affects families (p. 33). Something as simple as using adult-sized chairs or arranging seating in a circle communicates that all voices carry equal importance. - Practice cultural humility.
Building trust also means recognizing and respecting the cultural and linguistic diversity of families. Shelton emphasizes that teachers should view families as “unique but also special” and learn from the skills, expertise, and lived experiences (what Shelton calls “funds of knowledge”) that define their culture (p. 13). When educators see families as experts on their own children, it breaks down barriers of power and hierarchy that often inhibit open dialogue. - Gather family input early.
Shelton recommends using a family questionnaire or similar tool at the start of the school year to collect information and learn more about families and students (p. 15). Making an early effort to understand families’ strengths, interests, and needs shows genuine curiosity and respect. What you learn about each family will strengthen your relationships with them and allow you to tailor your communication and instructional strategies to each child’s context. - Acknowledge families’ efforts.
Families are more likely to collaborate with teachers if they view themselves as integral to their children’s learning and progress (p. 24). Teachers can nurture this mindset by offering specific praise for the ways families support learning at home, —whether that’s reading together, attending events, or simply showing curiosity about their child’s day. - Facilitate collaboration with intentional questions.
Shelton encourages teachers to design conferences that are conversational rather than one-sided. She suggests questions that promote “comfort” (e.g., “What do you and your child like to do for fun?”) and affirm families’ capacity to contribute to their children’s learning (p. 24). These kinds of questions demonstrate interest and invite families into the dialogue as equal partners.
- Recognize personal biases.
Trust is fragile, and unconscious biases can quickly undermine it. Shelton cautions that carrying assumptions about families—even if they’re unknown—can interfere with open communication and stall problem solving (p. 37). Approaching every family with humility and a deep understanding of your own beliefs and experiences ensures that all parents feel respected and heard.
Trust Transforms Conferences
When teachers take these steps, the tone of the parent-teacher conference changes dramatically. Families arrive with curiosity instead of anxiety. Teachers enter the conversation with empathy and confidence rather than apprehension. Everyone shares a common purpose: supporting the child’s growth.
As Shelton writes, “Conferences that are centered on family participation enhance the school-home relationship. When teachers appreciate families and recognize their contributions to school success, they extend a sense of belonging within the classroom to families.” (p. 12).
Rooted in trust, this sense of belonging is what takes relationships beyond a one-time meeting and turns them into an ongoing partnership. By building relationships before conferences ever begin, educators lay the groundwork for honest, compassionate conversations that strengthen both family trust and student success.
Emily Garman (she/they) works in the Gryphon House Books marketing department. She is passionate about environmental education and getting kids outside. When she's not writing or shooting video, you'll probably find her volunteering somewhere or singing in her community choir.
