In early childhood education, safe relationships are the foundation of learning. Children ages 0–8 thrive when they feel emotionally secure, deeply connected, and valued by the adults around them. For educators and caregivers, this means embedding social-emotional learning into every aspect of the day—from the morning greeting to transitions, classroom setup, and coaching through interactions all day long.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a timely reminder that positive mental health begins with the relationships we build and the environments we create. Here's how you can foster a classroom culture where every child feels emotionally safe and socially supported.
Why Social Emotional Learning Starts with Safety
Children develop best when they feel safe, nurtured, and appreciated. As The Insightful Teacher author Nancy Bruski reminds us, “True self-esteem and confidence arise out of feeling personally validated and understood.” When children feel that their teacher sees and values them, they are more likely to take healthy social and academic risks, build empathy, and develop resilience.
What Does a Positive Learning Environment Look Like?
A classroom that supports social-emotional learning doesn't need to be perfect—it needs to be predictable, attuned, and welcoming.
According to The Welcoming Classroom by Johnna Darragh Ernst, “Mutual respect, reciprocity, and responsiveness create the foundation for developing thriving relationships with families.” The same principles apply to teacher-child interactions. When educators approach children with curiosity and compassion, they lay the groundwork for emotionally safe learning.
Tips for Building Safe Relationships in the Classroom
1. Create Predictable Routines
Children feel safe when they know what to expect. Keep daily routines consistent and narrate transitions clearly.
“Establishing predictable routines and an orderly learning environment… can help children feel safer," Susan A. Miller, PhD reminds us in Growing Up in Stages: Emotional Development of Three- and Four-Year-Olds.
Use visual schedules, offer countdowns before transitions, and always explain what’s coming next.
2. Prioritize Warm, Intentional Interactions
Simple actions like greeting each child by name, making eye contact, and checking in emotionally build trust and attachment.
Bruski advises, “Simple check-ins help establish and nurture attachments between the child and teacher." Especially for children who struggle with regulation or connection, these brief moments of presence go a long way.
3. Reflect on Your Own Triggers and Tendencies
Teachers shape classroom culture through their tone, energy, and emotional regulation. Bruski emphasizes the importance of educator self-reflection. “Understanding the child is necessary… but the teacher first must reflect on and understand her own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives.”
If a child’s behavior frustrates you, pause to reflect. What unmet need might they be expressing? How might your response build or break trust?
Support Social Emotional Growth Through Everyday Opportunities
4. Model Emotional Language and Regulation
Use words to name emotions—yours and theirs. Phrases like “You look frustrated” or “That surprised you!” help children build emotional vocabulary and feel understood.
Miller writes, “With their increasing language skills, three- and four-year-olds are learning to use applicable words… to explain how they and others are feeling." This is a crucial developmental step toward empathy and self-regulation.
5. Respond to Emotions, Not Just Behavior
Instead of focusing only on correcting behavior, acknowledge the feeling behind it. Bruski says,“When a child experiences having her feelings validated, she is much more likely to cooperate with a limit that must be set."
Helping children feel seen and supported—even when their behavior needs redirection- by honoring their emotions first, you will create the trust and safety needed for meaningful growth and lasting change.
Build Relationships with Families as Allies
Social-emotional learning doesn’t stop at the classroom door. Home-to-school connections strengthen children's sense of stability and support.
In The Welcoming Classroom, Dr. Johnna Darragh Ernst emphasizes the need to adopt a strengths-based approach when partnering with families. “The foundation of the strengths-based approach is respect, reciprocity, and responsiveness."
Honor the unique identities and experiences each family brings, and invite them into the classroom community through regular communication, shared decision-making, and mutual goal-setting.
Thinking Outside the Box: Relationships Are the Curriculum
At the heart of social-emotional learning is this truth: relationships are the most powerful teaching tool we have. Safe, warm, respectful interactions—repeated daily—lay the foundation for every other skill we hope children will learn.
As Bruski puts it, “Teachers want to teach children that cooperating with one another, and sharing, are values and expectations in the classroom." These values must be taught not just through instruction, but through example.
Every greeting, every moment of calm in the face of a storm, every effort to connect is shaping a child’s capacity to trust, to relate, and to thrive.
Want more resources on social emotional learning and relationship-based teaching? Explore our social-emotional learning collection of books, as well as our resources for supporting student and teacher mental health, at GryphonHouse.com.
